Monday, March 22, 2010

THIS STRANGE FLESH


Whose flesh is this? This isn’t right-
Sensations shifting day and night
It seems like mine - in here I dwell
But close my eyes and I can’t tell
Where I begin or where I end
Betrayed by that, my so-called friend
And while outside I look so good
Within, things don’t work like they should
Confused T-cells gnaw at my wires
Misled by something that misfires
They slip into my brain to chew
Devouring things I once could do
And parts of me just cease to work
And I’m left in this state of quirk
Fighting to regain some control
(But screaming in my very soul)
Because they just go on and on
Gnawing, gnawing until I’m gone.

Barbara Robinson 03/23/10


PUBLISHED!! CHECK IT OUT!



"Multiple Sclerosis - A Seussian Treatment" printed on page 12 of the Philadelphia Inquirer as an adjunct to an interview I gave about using Estriol as an MS treatment.  I cut/pasted the header to identify the publication and date of issue.  Click the thumbnail for a full-sized image.

Front page someday would be nice, though. ;)


Thursday, February 18, 2010

ACCIDENTAL MATURITY

It’s revelation and a shock
to find today the path you walk
is one once mocked and so reviled
when then a foolish, willful child
who scoffed at every sacred cow
you guard with fervent passion now
To feel a fondness new and strange
for features once you yearned to change
a poignant awe and admiration
for that dear older generation
who suffered so to bring you up
a clumsy, reckless, silly pup
and know now what they used to mean
"she’ll never make it to 18"
Their sage advice once cast aside
statutes by which you now abide
with sense of self and inner peace
that only time served can release.

Barbie Robinson 
@ 2009

STONED LEPER

Like a stoned leper in a room of farm implements

I guard my meat with an exasperated vigilance

I can’t trust my feet to tell my brain where I stand

The signals get lost on their way to central command

The cold water feels like it’s burning my hand

And my touch has become the antithesis of sense.

Barbara Robinson
5/29/09

MORE SEUSSIAN MS

(One of the difficult realities of MS for women is that between the multiple medications and the loss of coordination, we can no longer enjoy having a nice cocktail or wearing a really great pair of high heels.  Dopey, clutzy...five more dwarves' names, please?  This year's stiletto craze is particularly aggravating to me.  I want those shoes.  But I can't walk in them.)

I hate MS, oh yes I do

It never fails to make me blue

It steals my stuff from day to day

It won't let me go out and play

It's commandeered my simple life

And filled it with concern and strife

But of the things I hate to lose

The saddest are the booze and shoes.

Barbara Robinson
3/12/09

Monday, February 1, 2010

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS - THE THIEF IN THE NIGHT

(For Kim, who called MS "A thief in the night" and inspired this poem)

I’m living in an endless fight
to forfend a thief in the night
who saps my strength and tests my faith
a silent, invisible wraith
and all of science cannot stop
the thief from making my foot drop
or stealing feeling from my hands
squeezing with invisible bands
My legs are weak and feel like stone
My equilibrium is gone
No beloved coffee can I sup
without needing a sippy cup
because I tremble like a leaf
Yes, in my night, there comes a thief
who steals my each ability
leaving only the pith of me
and thinks he can destroy my will
But to take that, he’ll have to kill.

Barbara Robinson
10/26/09

Video 1/14/2012

MS - A SEUSSIAN TREATMENT (I Have MS. I Am a Mess.)



(For Kimberly, who started this by posting the first line in a forum discussion about incontinence products.  I said it sounded like a Dr. Seuss poem.  She said, "I'll give you a few minutes".  I think she knows me pretty well.)


I have MS, I am a mess
The doctor tells me not to stress
My feet are numb, my eyes are blurred
I struggle to find my next word
The meds I take are priced quite high
To keep the faith I try and try
My family cries, “Do this! Do that!
You need to rub on Emu fat,
and try stuff we saw on TV!
You should get disability!”
They all have answers for my plight
but nothing makes my legs work right
I’ve tried it all and nonetheless
I have MS. I am a mess.

Barbara Robinson
2/9/09

Video 1/11/2012

You can refer to my recent blog post to (possibly) interpret what compelled me to put this poem to video.