ACCIDENTAL MATURITY

It’s revelation and a shock

to find today the path you walk

is one once mocked and so reviled

when then a foolish, willful child

who scoffed at every sacred cow

you guard with fervent passion now

To feel a fondness new and strange

for features once you yearned to change

a poignant awe and admiration

for that dear older generation

who suffered so to bring you up

a clumsy, reckless, silly pup

and know now what they used to mean

"she’ll never make it to 18"

Their sage advice once cast aside

statutes by which you now abide

with sense of self and inner peace

that only time served can release.

Barbie Robinson 
@ 2009

STONED LEPER

Like a stoned leper in a room of farm implements

I guard my meat with an exasperated vigilance

I can’t trust my feet to tell my brain where I stand

The signals get lost on their way to central command

The cold water feels like it’s burning my hand

And my touch has become the antithesis of sense.

Barbara Robinson
5/29/09

MORE SEUSSIAN MS

(One of the difficult realities of MS for women is that between the multiple medications and the loss of coordination, we can no longer enjoy having a nice cocktail or wearing a really great pair of high heels.  Dopey, clutzy...five more dwarves' names, please?  This year's stiletto craze is particularly aggravating to me.  I want those shoes.  But I can't walk in them.)

I hate MS, oh yes I do

It never fails to make me blue

It steals my stuff from day to day

It won't let me go out and play

It's commandeered my simple life

And filled it with concern and strife

But of the things I hate to lose

The saddest are the booze and shoes.

Barbara Robinson
3/12/09

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS - THE THIEF IN THE NIGHT

(For Kim, who called MS "A thief in the night" and inspired this poem)

I’m living in an endless fight

to forfend a thief in the night

who saps my strength and tests my faith

a silent, invisible wraith

and all of science cannot stop

the thief from making my foot drop

or stealing feeling from my hands

squeezing with invisible bands

My legs are weak and feel like stone

My equilibrium is gone

No beloved coffee can I sup

without needing a sippy cup

because I tremble like a leaf

Yes, in my night, there comes a thief

who steals my each ability

leaving only the pith of me

and thinks he can destroy my will

But to take that, he’ll have to kill.

Barbara Robinson
10/26/09

Video 1/14/2012

MS - A SEUSSIAN TREATMENT (I Have MS. I Am a Mess.)

(For Kimberly, who started this by posting the first line in a forum discussion about incontinence products.  I said it sounded like a Dr. Seuss poem.  She said, "I'll give you a few minutes".  I think she knows me pretty well.)

I have MS, I am a mess

The doctor tells me not to stress

My feet are numb, my eyes are blurred

I struggle to find my next word

The meds I take are priced quite high

To keep the faith I try and try

My family cries, “Do this! Do that!

You need to rub on Emu fat,

and try stuff we saw on TV!

You should get disability!”

They all have answers for my plight

but nothing makes my legs work right

I’ve tried it all and nonetheless

I have MS. I am a mess.

Barbara Robinson
2/9/09

Video 1/11/2012

You can refer to my recent blog post to (possibly) interpret what compelled me to put this poem to video.